Onesided Love
by Zmallet
Summary: The recounts of the Marauders' schooldays, James' onesided love for a certain redheaded beauty and his attempts to win her heart... [JamesLily] RR please! CHAPTER 6 UP. Yes I changed the title because I didn't like 'Onesided Crush' much...
1. Chapter One: Rejections

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter One: Rejection

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Aaah! Look at Potter! He's looking as handsome as ever this term!"

"Waah, I never knew you liked him too! Isn't he hot, Lily?"

"...If you say so..." Lily rolled her eyes. Every time James Potter walked by, her friends would all start swooning. She didn't see it; there was nothing incredibly distinctive about him - he was a prankster, and he was never serious about his schoolwork.

"Eeeeek! He's coming this way!" A girl nearly collapsed on the floor, her face bright red, blushing.

"Hey Lily." James Potter leant towards the wall, his hazel eyes firmly fixed on Lily Evans.

"Kyaaaa! He's talking to Lily again!!!"

"Waaah what a lucky girl!"

Lily turned her head in disgust. His face was literally 5 cm from hers, and he was smiling that cocky smile he always had on.

"Will you go out with me?" James asked smoothly. Another girl fainted on the grass.

"...No Potter, I will not go out with you. You've asked me at least 5 times in the past 2 days, and the answer is always going to be no. Why won't you stop bugging me?!" Lily stormed off the opposite direction, leaving James standing there, looking clueless and dejected.

"But - What did you - Wait - Huh?"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Laughter roared from the Gryffindor boy's dormitory.

"She - HAHAHAA - She rejected you AGAIN?!?!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? NO, YOU CAN'T BE!! I'M SIRIUS! YOU - HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!" Sirius was clutching his stomach, tears of laughter streaming down his face, his features contorted into an expression of absolute pain because he couldn't stop laughing.

"GEEZ! It seems I can get any girl _except_ for the one I want! What's wrong with me?!" James was scratching his head, brows furrowed in frustration.

"I dunno, maybe she just doesn't like boys like you." Peter said in a small voice.

"What do you mean?! No girl can resist James Potter!"

"Then, maybe she... you know... doesn't like _guys. _If you know what I mean..." Peter's cheeks turned pink.

"WHAT? There's no way a girl that I like would be... um, not like guys." James slumped down on his bed. "...Right? Sirius? Back me up here?"

"Pfft, no way Peter. Are you sure you're human? I mean, I know you're a rat, but even rats could see the eyes she's been throwing at Remus all year... She's obviously straight."

Remus stopped reading the page he was on.

"What? You think Evans likes me?" He laughed. Then he quickly added, "Don't worry James, I'm not interested in her," when he saw the expression on his face.

"Yeah, everyone knows Remus is gay." Sirius joked. Remus rolled his eyes and went back to reading.

"Why don't you just be yourself, you know. Maybe she doesn't like you acting so charming all the time..." Peter sat down.

"Haaa, lovely advice, Peter. That's definitely scored you hundreds of girlfriends," Sirius rolled his eyes, making Peter turn pink. "Listen mate, you're just not macho enough for her. Girls like that aren't satisfied with simply _charming_. They want a real MAN, you know? Not a... a girl like you! No offence, but look at you, 15 and not even any chest hair."

"Oh, _thanks_ Sirius. And what about you?!" James lay down.

"HA! I happen to have 2 chest hairs! I'm much more manly than you'll ever be!" To emphasise his point, he stuck his chest out. "D'ya want to see?"

"Not really, Sirius." Remus turned around, so he could avoid the sight of his embarrassing friends.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"HEY LILY." A deep voice boomed from across the common room.

"Wha - Potter? What's wrong with your voice? And why do you have a moustache drawn in marker on your face?"

"NO REASON. I'M A LOT MORE MANLY NOW THAN I WAS A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. DON'T YOU THINK?"

Lily shook her head in disgust.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"WILL YOU GO OUT WIV' ME?"

"I'd rather kiss a donkey that's rolled in compost." Lily replied calmly, and walked up to her dormitory.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Gee, _I_ thought you were brilliant, I dunno what's wrong with her!" Sirius patted his friend on the back. James continued sulking on his bed.

"Why don't you just give it up, I mean, it's not like she'll like you anytime soon," Remus yawned, "just go out with some other girl; everyone else seems to love you to bits."

"That's _it_! Remus my fellow, you're a genius!" Sirius had a huge grin on his face. "Listen James, just ask one of her friends to go out with you! They're bound to say yes!"

"...But I don't like any of her friends. I only like Lily!" James sighed depressingly.

"Ah, but women are jealous creatures! Once she sees you with one of her friends, she won't be able to keep her eyes off you!" Sirius stood up and did a superman pose.

"Super Sirius, saves the day again!"

"Shut up Sirius." Remus threw his book at him.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Lily was sitting at the breakfast table, talking to her friend Matilda, when suddenly, she went silent. Her eyes were as big as dinner plates, her mouth hanging apart.

"'Tilda? Something wrong?" Lily waved a hand in front of her face, but there was no response.

"HEY!!! LILY!!" That was James Potter, no doubt about that at all.

"NO Potter. I won't go out with you, before you ask."

"...I wasn't going to ask." James said as he strode over to them.

"Really?" Lily said, surprised.

"Yup. Hey, Lily's friend!" He patted her shoulder. Matilda blinked, her mouth still wide open.

"Wi - I - um - er - hi - hijames." She was tripping over her words, cheeks bright red.

"Will you go out with me?" James smiled his charming smile.

"...I - Wha - I - YES!" With that, the poor girl collapsed at the table in a dead faint.

"What's this about, Potter?" Lily threw a cold stare at him.

"Nothing." With a grin, he walked off, a satisfied smile on his face.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Remus, hide me." James looked at his friend with a fearful gaze. "It's her again! she keeps kissing me, and dragging me everywhere with her! Help me!!!"

"You know, you shouldn't taken Sirius' advice on this one. Matilda's that kind of girl, and Lily hasn't even looked at you for the week you two have been dating."

James was about to cry. "Remuuuuus!! It's like she thinks I'm not human - I feel like a teddy bear!" He shuddered. "WAAAH I THINK SHE SPOTTED ME!"

"JAMES HONEEEY!!! WE'RE GOING OUTSIDE TO MEET WITH EVERYONE!" Matilda was skipping over to Remus and James.

"OH MY GOSH! HELP ME REMUS! OR KILL ME! I'M NOT PICKY!!"

Remus quickly stepped out of the way, allowing James to be showered with kisses on his cheeks.

"REMUUUS!!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIIIISSS!!" James gasped for air from underneath the hyper girl.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Author's Notes: This is not going to be a Lily/Remus fic. Lily does not have a crush on Remus; Sirius is stupid, as you can tell. If she did, I would be murdered by the combined forces of certain people. Stay tuned for more as it comes! Pray I don't get writers' block! XD


	2. Chapter Two: Poor James

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

_To my reviewers: Thank you for reviewing! X3 Your reviews and critiques will help me to improve._

_**Waste of Space**: I will try to make it more... paragraphy? XDD I'm really bad that these things BUT I WILL TRY! D_

_OH and I forgot to mention, they're in 5th year. But you should've guessed from Sirius' 'You're 15 but no chest hair' line._

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Two: Poor James

-----------------------------------------------------------

The four boys were sitting in their dorm, Remus sitting on his bed reading, Peter looking out the window, Sirius pretending to sleep, and James... sulking on the floor.

"If you don't like her, why don't you just break up with her?" Peter asked, confused. He pulled away from the window and sat down on the floor next to James.

"Sirius, don't you think that would be a good idea?"

Sirius jolted in his 'sleep'. Peter sighed. Sirius was always lying down on his bed, whether he was studying or supposed to be studying, playing on his gameboy, pretending to read, or sleeping, you could find him on his bed. There was a rumour that his girlfriend had been turned into a bed by Snape, which is why he was always spending time with it and harassing Snape, but there was no such thing: Sirius was just a lazy slob, and he harassed Snape because he had nothing better to do.

"Shut up Peter, if he gives up now, Lily will hate him forever. I can feel it; she's about to snap. She's going to fall in loveeee!" Sirius said cheerfully. James whimpered.

James had survived two weeks with Matilda, and was showing the effects - he hadn't slept in two days, and was seriously thinking of dumping her.

"Hey, if you're really that desperate, I could break up for you, okay? I'll tell her that you cheated on her with another girl and that you got acne overnight, that'll put her off. Oh, should I say that you're in the hospital wing too? No, that'll just make it worse... Anyhow, I'm going to sort this through for you, okay mate? Should I just hex her? Nah, that wouldn't be good, or..." Sirius continued to talk, but James had already fallen asleep on the floor.

-----------------------------------------------------------

'Dear JAMES!

How are you? Your friend Black told me that you're very sick. I hope you get better soon, then we can do all sorts of fun things again! But if you have acne, like he says, I won't be able to go out with you anymore because acne means having lots of pimples on your face, and pimples are ugly! Just letting you know that I've got another boyfriend now! I can't remember what his name is, but he doesn't have any pimples!

Get well soon!

Your ex-girlfriend, Matilda.

PS. I'm sure you will be good looking again soon!'

"WHAT? After all this time, _she's_ the one that dumps ME? This is ridiculous! I'll never get Lily to like me..." James slumped down on the sofa in the common room.

Sirius was really frustrated - he was sure that the jealousy tactic would work. It really seemed that she wasn't interested in James! But that was impossible, he thought. She must like _something._ He'd need to find out. But how? Girls seemed to keep to themselves, the only place they'd ever talk about secrets were in their dorms or the girls' toilets.

The girls' toilets.

Of course! Why hadn't he thought of it earlier!? The girls' toilets on the second floor was haunted by the ghost of Moaning Myrtle, a _girl_. But, she seemed to be quite friendly most of the time, once you got over your depressing nature.

"Hey, we could get Myrtle to spy on them while they're in the toilets! Then we'll find out what sorts of things Lily likes, and James can charm her with that!" Sirius grinned cockily, thinking he'd just come up with the best idea ever.

"That would work, except... do you really think Myrtle would agree to something like that?" Remus said skeptically.

"I don't know, we could just try, couldn't we? We've got nothing to lose!" Sirius patted James on the back.

"Do what you want," James replied gloomily.

-----------------------------------------------------------

To their surprise, Myrtle seemed more than happy to help!

"Oh, how exciting! I'd never have known that Jamesy would have a crush on Lily Evans! Nothing interesting's been around lately, so I guess I could help you guys out!" Myrtle squealed, but it came out more like a sob than anything else. "Ah, I miss the excitement of love in the living world!!" Myrtle beamed at them through her thick-rimmed glasses.

"Thanks a lot, Myrtle. You're doing James here a huge favour!" Sirius gave her a thumbs up. Sure enough, the ghost disappeared. The plan was in action!

"So... we just wait now, right?" Peter asked timidly. The poor boy had nearly wet himself. He didn't like ghosts, especially not Moaning Myrtle. You couldn't blame him for this fears - after all, the first thing he'd seen when he walked into Hogwarts four years earlier _was_ Nearly Headless Nick with his head flipped off, hovering in mid-air.

"Oh for goodness sakes, Peter. She isn't going to murder you in your sleep," Remus grumbled.

The four boys walked outside, down the steps of the main entrance, and sat down on the grass, ready to spend their study period studying - or in Sirius' case, mucking around. After a few moments, he spotted a greasy Slytherin by the lake with his girlfriend.

"I smell Snivellus, boys." Sirius grinned like the cheshire cat.

The four marauders, with Sirius leading, stalked over to Severus Snape. (Or, being dragged along, if we're talking about Remus.) Standing right behind him, Sirius threw a small pebble at his head.

"_Snivellus_. So nice to see you again! How are you, old chap? I see you've neglected to take a shower again." His smart remark was returned with a glare of loathing from the Slytherin.

"What do you want, Black?" He spat.

"Why nothing! What's wrong with a few friendly words between mates? Anyway, who's this lovely lady? I'm surprised, I never thought you could get a girl with those looks of yours. Here, let me fix your hair for you! You must've forgotten to comb it again." With a swish of his wand, Sirius summoned at least twenty birds that flew around his head, pooping as they went.

"Oops, wrong spell. Oh well. Good luck cleaning that up, Snivellus!" Sirius laughed.

"Just you wait, you -" Snape stopped in mid sentence. "Mudblood. What're you doing? With these bastards, are you?"

Lily had walked from her group of friends to them, to see what was the matter. Not much to her surprise, the marauders were harassing Severus Snape again.

"What's going on here? Black, are you hexing Snape again?" Knowing full well the answer would be some excuse, Lily continued,"I'm going to have to tell the Head boy about this, if it keeps going on."

Sirius nearly choked.

"Why? We're in your house! Anyway, he started it. He stinks." He said matter-of-factly, as if bad odour was an excuse.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I don't need no Mudblood to stick up for me," Snape sneered.

"Shut up, Snivellus! Don't you _dare_ insult Lily!" James disarmed the Slytherin. As he was scrabbling to get his wand, Sirius laughed.

"You - Potter, I can't believe you!" And as Lily was walking away, all James could feel was the painful sting from her slap on his left cheek.

-----------------------------------------------------------

_Authors' Notes: I had to put Severus in there somewhere X3;. No writers' block yet, but I'm pretty sure I over-dialogged it again D: Oh well. I'll try to get better! Yosh! Stay tuned Chapter 3 will be in soon. Read and Review! A review a day keeps the writers' block away! I'm going to start the next chapter once I get home from dinner, but no guarantees as to when I'll finish it! I have lots of stuff to do ;;_


	3. Chapter Three: Lily's Feelings

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

_Uwaa, I really need to write more. That's why this chapter was painfully written so that it will be long... (1200 words per chapter is awfully short o.o)_

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Three: Lily's feelings

-----------------------------------------------------------

"REMUUUS!! What's the difference between a moonstone and bezoar? Stupid potions homework, I don't know how Lily does it!" James scratched his head in puzzlement. "And what the hell does meteorite properties have to do with anything?"

Remus was sitting on the red carpeted floor of the common room, next to Peter. They were playing wizards' chess, and Remus seemed to be winning. With a cry of 'Die, foul minion!', his queen had annihilated another of Peter's pawns, making him jump with fright at the sound of the piece falling down onto the board.

"Noooo! My pawn! You killed my last pawn! Oh, woe! Oh, curse this world! I'll live no longer!! My pawnnn!!!" Peter sobbed. He seemed to protect them all dearly, despite the fact that both his knights had been killed, along with his rooks, one of his bishops and his queen. They sat neatly in a row beside the chessboard, the queen shaking her fist at Peter and screaming, "Traitorrr! You were meant to protect me!!"

At that moment, Sirius decided to run downstairs at the sound of Peter's sobs.

"Porn? Peter has porn? Why didn't you tell me Peter? WHY?!"

"Shut up, Sirius. We're playing chess. Anyway, shouldn't you be doing potions homework?"

Sirius grinned.

"...Oh god. You did something weird again, didn't you, Sirius?" Remus said, backing away.

"No, I just used my initiative. James, to let you know, the answers to all your questions are on page 302 in 'Advanced Potion Making'."

James pounced for his book like a hungry dog, flipping furiously at the pages. When he finally got to page 302, his face fell a bit. The whole page was one big paragraph of tiny, size-8 typing, and he got a terrible headache just looking at the words. Try as he could, he couldn't even read most of the stuff in there. '_Place the stomache of the capra hircus into the pewter bowl, and take the extract of nelumbo nucifera. Expect the neupria to be ready within a few moons... '_

"Padfoot you dickhead! What is this crap?" James said in disbelief.

"You're supposed to use magic to get rid of all the stuff you don't need! You just have to get rid of 8 words, then skip two, then another 8 words, and then skip two." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Duhhh."

James tried it, and gave a high-pitched squeal of delight, "Sirius, I love you mate."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "How did you know that would work? It's not like there's a particular pattern, is there?" Sirius gave him another grin. He didn't know how, but Sirius had been getting extremely lucky with homework answers lately. Meanwhile, Peter was dejected that Remus had stopped playing chess with him, so he figured he might as well stop too. After packing up his chess set, Peter went up to the dormitory and back down again, and bumped into Lily Evans on his way back to the common room.

"O-Oh. Uh - Um - Er - Hi, Lily." Peter said uncomfortably. He was always bashful around girls, being the timid ratty person he was. "J-Jameslikesyou," He squealed.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Did he tell you to talk to me or something? He's such a wuss, why doesn't he just talk to me on his own?"

"Um... doyou... like...James?" Peter went bright red, as if it was him he was talking about. To his horror, Lily turned red as well. Peter thought that when people turned red, it meant they were angry with him. He obviously couldn't see his own expression right then, and he squeaked a tiny apology - "Actuallynevermind!!! Sorryforbumpingintoyou!!" Peter ran off as fast as his short legs would carry him, leaving Lily to stand in the corridor, thinking over what the boy had said.

"Do I like James Potter?" She pondered.

-----------------------------------------------------------

As they sat in the Transfiguration classroom, the Marauders heard the noisy chatter of their classmates drifting around. It was the first lesson of the day, Monday morning. Right before the lesson started; it was the noisiest time of the week, friends catching up with each other, girls exchanging gossip, everyone well rested and ready for another week of work. James, Remus, Peter and Sirius sat at the back of the classroom, where they always sat. This was so that McGonagall couldn't see any of the antics they got up to, and James could keep an eye on Lily, who always sat two rows in front of him. She never moved, so James sat in the same seat every time as well. This was going to be one hell of another boring transfiguration class...

Halfway through the class (in which they were all attempting to transfigure pigeons into doves), James cried out. All heads turned to his direction, and after about 5 seconds, Lily's head turned too, a look of annoyance on her face.

"Bloody... bird... keeps biting me..." He was in the midst of strangling it, causing many of the girls to giggle. To Lily's surprise, she found herself giggling as well. She stopped abruptly and continued with the task at hand - she didn't want stupid Potter to think his antics were funny, because they weren't.

"Yes Lily. That was not funny. Potter is an idiot. Yes he is Lily. Breathe in, breathe out. Lily hates Potter's guts, yes you do," Lily muttered to herself under her breath.

After the lesson, James was laughing alongside his friends as they headed off to their next class. _His stupid friends, equally as stupid as he is._ Lily thought. _Well, except for Remus Lupin. He was okay... but Potter looked so much more handso- _She cursed. _Do not think those kind of thoughts, Lily. You hate Potter. More than anything in the world. _She ran to the toilets to calm herself.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Stupid Potter! I hate his guts! Why doesn't he just go and... kill himself?! Or something! Stupid Potter stupid Potter stupid Potter!" She yelled at the mirror. "Always sticking up for his friend Black even though he does such idiotic things! Why?! Stupid Potter!" This was actually making her feel better! "Lily Evans, you hate James Potter! In fact, if you had a knife, you'd throw it at him!" Lily smiled. Great, she was talking to herself now. But if it would make her get rid of all the James Potter related thoughts in her head, it was worth it!

With and contented look on her face, she walked out of the bathroom, where - to her horror - the very man she'd just been screaming at was.

"Hey Lils!" He called out when he saw her.

"What is it, _Potter_?" She scowled menacingly.

"I was wondering if you would go to Hogsmeade with me this -"

"Get lost."

Stupid Potter. Just when she'd gotten her mind clear of him, he just _had to_ come and ask her out... for about the twentieth time this week.

-----------------------------------------------------------

That very night, Sirius, Peter, Remus and James made their way to the girls' toilets on the second floor underneath the invisibility cloak. It wasn't made for four people, so they kept stepping on each other's feet. When they finally arrived (which seemed like after _years_), Remus casted a soundproofing spell on the walls of the toilet, and as soon as he dropped his arm by his side, Peter yelped. Very, _very loudly._

"My poor tootsies! Sirius' feet are very bony! He should get those moisturizer creams that soften the skin or whatever! I think I broke a toenail," Peter sobbed. The other three marauders raised their eyebrows. Who knew Peter could be so... gay?

At that moment, Peter's sobs were silenced by the Moaning Myrtle's entrance. She looked rather gleeful, or maybe it was just them. After all, she looked so gloomy most of the time, you'd think she was having a grand time even if she had a blank face on!

"I feel so sorry for you, Jamesy! Evans doesn't really like you much, does she? I caught her yelling at the mirror today, saying '_Stupid Potter! Stupid Potter!' _You know, I really think she hates you. She doesn't go to the loo with her friends, you know. Oh, and she recommends that '_He should just go kill himself!'" _When quoting Lily, Myrtle put on a high girlish voice, as if Lily was some kind of life-sized barbie doll. She looked at James with eyes of mock sadness. "Poor, poor Jamesy! You know, you should get over her and get some other girlfriend!" she shrieked.

"I need to get going now, Marauderies! Thanks for the mission, I feel so aliiiiive! Just call me if you want anything else, okay? Myrtle is always wanting to help!" Seeing James' saddened face, she added, "Oh, and Jamesy? Don't go near Evans in potions class for a while. She might stab you with her knife." With that, the ghost disappeared.

-----------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Notes:** D: I can't let it drag on, because then my creative flow seems to suffer. Oh well. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Read and Review! Make me happy! Yayyy! (...I made them all so OOC )


	4. Chapter Four: Peter and the Love Potion

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

I'm sorry everyone for the long wait (and this chapter is still pretty retarded for a 6 month wait, sorry all.)

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Four: Peter and the Love Potion

-----------------------------------------------------------

The boys were back in their dormitory, the afternoon sun burning its way through the windows as birds flew in the clear cloudless sky. Half a week has passed since Moaning Myrtle finished her mission and reported back to the Marauders, but as you can imagine, nobody was particularly energetic (with the exception of Sirius, but then again, when is he _not_ energetic?). Of course, it was partly James' fault.

"How about a hanging? Do you think Lily would prefer that over a stab to the heart, or not? Nah… it's too unoriginal, been done tonnes of times before," James mumbled gloomily, mostly to himself, as he sat on his four-poster bed.

"James, you realise that if you commit suicide, there's no way you can go out with Lily Evans?" Remus pointed out obviously. James sighed pathetically.

"Yeah, but it's what she wants, right? 'Why doesn't he just go kill himself'? I'm doing it all for her… It's an act from the bottom of my heart," he said devotedly.

"That's right Remus. Can't you see that James is proving his love to Lily? Oh by the way, go with the stab to the heart. It symbolises HEARTbreak. Get it?" That was Sirius, being as idiotic as usual.

"You know, with James dead, you won't have a best friend anymore, and you wouldn't be able to tease him about Lily ever again," Remus muttered, amused, "ever."

Sirius pondered this for a couple of seconds (Sirius is a slow thinker).

"…Yeah, maybe Remus is right. After all, you wouldn't want Lily to think you're an idiot would you? I mean… what guy would kill himself over a girl? Eh, well _you_ would, but... euh… I mean, she already thinks you're crazy so it wouldn't hurt… but even if she totally rejects you, you still have a chance with some of her friends, but if you die… oh and… uh… I'm not making sense am I? By the way, where's Peter?" Sirius changed the subject to avoid himself being contradicted into pieces by Remus again.

"Huh, Peter? Who knows? He's a lost case."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Peter, at that moment, was actually being harassed by one of Lily Evan's 'friends'. He was pinned up in the corner of the common room while the blonde was staring at him seriously.

"…You're a friend of James Potter, right?"

"Y-yes I am!" He squeaked, afraid of what might happen to him if he didn't answer.

"What's your name, like Percy Parsons or something?"

"P-Peter Pettigrew."

"Whatever, I was close enough. So anyway… I've liked James for a really long time but I can't help but notice that he's gone all swoony on Lily… So, I want you to take this," she thrust a little tube of pink powder into Peter's trembling hands, "and put it into his pumpkin juice tonight at dinner."

"I-I don't think that's a n-nice thing to do. W-what is it exactly?"

"That's not important… JUST DO IT, OKAY? Otherwise, I'll tell McGonagall about you and your friends'… animal problems." With one last fiery glare from her sharp blue eyes, the girl spun around and exited the room, leaving little Peter all alone in the common room.

Poor Peter was beside himself with fear. Should he listen to the girl? But that would mean something bad would happen to James! But if he didn't… she'd tell McGonagall about Remus' werewolf problem and that they were all animagi! In the end, he decided that better one person was in trouble than four, so that night at dinner, he tipped the pink powder into the pumpkin juice flask at the long table in the great hall…

-----------------------------------------------------------

Sirius giggled. It was the next morning at breakfast, and something was _seriously _wrong with him. More than usual, that is. Peter eyed James nervously to see if he had caught some kind of pimple disease, or sprouted bushy nose hair overnight. But he looked exactly the same as usual – round glasses, hazel eyes, scruffy hair…

"Oh my God, it's _her!_" Sirius giggled nervously again as he glanced every so often at a certain blue-eyed blonde girl entering the Great Hall, Lily in tow.

"What the—" Remus lowered his book and raised his eyebrow at Sirius. "Are you okay, Sirius? That's Hannah Crossgrove, you've always hated her guts." He paused. "Or maybe this is some sort of trick to get close enough to hex her?"

Ignoring his friend's evaluation of the situation, Sirius clutched his heart dramatically (according to him later, it was how they did it on Muggle television) and sighed lovingly. Hannah Crossgrove strode strongly over to the group of boys, Lily closely behind.

"Good _morning _James," she purred seductively. James, spoonful of cornflakes stuffed in his mouth, looked up at the pair.

"Oh, good morschning Lily! Your 'air ish ash nishce ash alwaysh!" He winked. (Jamesglish translation note: 'your hair is as nice as always.') Lily turned away in disgust as bits of cornflake sprayed across the tablecloth. Then, he turned to the other girl.

"…"

He squinted. Obviously he was still half asleep.

"Who're you?"

"I –" Hannah glared at Peter, and he cringed noticeably.

"…My name is Hannah Crossgrove." She smiled through sparkling teeth. "You're James Potter, right? I met your friend Peter the other day and got him to do a favour for me," still smiling, "and I was just checking to see whether it was all perfect." She shot the smile in Peter's direction. "So, how'd the _potions assignment_ go?"

"I-it was a failure, I'm sorry. Don't tell McGonagall –" He cut himself off. Didn't want these guys to find out what he had done… but what exactly had he done? James was fine, didn't seem to be phased at all with the pink powder. Sirius interrupted his thoughts, that's when Peter remembered – Sirius had eaten it by accident. Whoops, guess it was a love potion. No harm done, Sirius was regularly constipated; a little added constipation on the part of the love potion wouldn't matter much.

"Hannah Crossgrove? That's such a beautiful name. My name is Sirius Black, and I'm James' best friend!" His eyes were practically hearts.

Hannah looked at him as though he was pathetic. Still, determined to continue with her act, she smiled at him as well. "That's nice Mr. Black. But, I really must get going to my first class now. I'll talk to you all again someday, okay?" She walked off. Lily remained, and opened her mouth to say something – "Lily, we have to go to Potions, otherwise we'll be late!" Hannah's voice rang out, and Lily closed her mouth and followed the girl out of the Great Hall again.

"Hannah Crossgrove…" Sirius sighed like a girl in love. Except well, he was a boy in love. Or so he thought…

Remus whacked Peter over the head with his book.

"You idiot, you put a love potion in Sirius' drink in order to stop McGonagall from finding out something, didn't you? We've got to wait 24 hours for him to get back to normal now! I can't stand him talking about Hannah Crossgrove anymore!"

It was amazing how accurate Remus could be in a situation when he was annoyed.

------------------------------------------------------------

That whole day, Sirius found new and creative ways to express love everytime he caught even a glimpse of the blonde. As they sat on the hills around the castle during lunch, they saw a couple sitting by the lake arguing and the girl slapping the girl, which led to Sirius sighing again.

"That reminds me of me and Hannah…"

Remus screamed.

"If you say 'Hannah' one more time, I'm going to hex you!"

"Remus? Hexing someone? Ha! That's laughable. Well done Sirius, you've gotten Remus angry enough to hex! I never knew it was possible!" James laughed. Sirius merely replied with a confused lost-puppy look.

"What? I don't get it. I'm sure Hannah could tutor me about these things –"

BANG.

Remus was standing up, frozen and confused about what he had just done. His wand was smoking. Sirius was on his knees on the grass, with a shocked look on his face.

"Oh my God Remus! What did you do to James?!"

-----------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Notes: **Okay sorry, where has all my humour gone? This chapter is not funny at all, and the jokes are all incredibly dry so I'm sorry for that but during the last few months my humour has all been eaten by school and stuff… but Oh well, read and review and I might be tempted to keep writing…


	5. Chapter Five: Lily Who?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

_Okai. Reviews are really nice and useful to the author of a story, so please, please, PLEASE review after you read the story! It really helps me improve and figure out where I'm making my mistakes, etc. Thanks and enjoy_

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Five: Lily Who?

-----------------------------------------------------------

Remus was having a nice dream about meeting the author of Advanced Charms when he realised an annoyingly familiar voice was pulling at his senses again, as usual.

"Oh... God… why is Sirius' voice coming out of a dead person's body…?"

"Remus! It's James! He woke up! See? I knew the spell wouldn't cause permanent damage! Isn't this great Remus? Remus?!" Sirius tugged at Remus' sleeve like a little girl would with her mother at the mall in a toyshop. Suddenly the previous day's events returned to Remus' brain and he opened his eyes to find a dead-looking James lying on a hospital wing bed.

"James? You're awake? Oh God, you aren't dead… I'm relieved… my back hurts…" Remus, Sirius and Peter had stayed the night at James' side like the loyal friends they were… no, I lie. It was Madam Pomfrey's recommendation and she blocked the entrances so they couldn't leave. Remus had been sleeping in a chair. A plastic chair. A very hard, plastic chair I may add. Peter was still curled up in a ball on the floor, sucking his thumb and mumbling something about rubber ducks. Sirius was grinning like a madman and holding his face directly above James on the bed.

"Urgh…" James remained lying on the bed. He slowly opened his eyes to the outside world…"OH MY GOD SIRIUS YOU DICKHEAD! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR HORRIFIC MUG AFTER I WAKE UP!" He jumped after seeing Sirius' grin above him, literally 5 inches away. Sirius looked rather hurt at his comment.

"Is my face really that horrific? I'm sorry James, but Pom Pom wouldn't let us leave so I didn't have an opportunity to apply my moisturiser this morning… But I'm pretty sure that I still look absolutely irresistible without it." Remus, having regained his senses, raised his eyebrow at this comment.

"You use moisturiser? …Well this is new. Wherever did you manage to get hold of – you _didn't _ask your uncle… No, don't answer that, I don't want to know."

"My cross-dressing uncle is a very respected man! And without moisturiser, how else would I maintain this flawless skin?" He tapped his face and winked.

James groaned.

"Please Sirius, not another makeup commercial."

Sirius pouted.

"What happened anyway? All I can remember is… we were by the lake, Sirius said something about… somebody… and then Remus did something to me… Urgh, what did I eat at breakfast? How long as it been?"

"It's only been a couple of hours… and you had cornflakes for breakfast. You _always _have cornflakes at breakfast, because it's what Lily has," Remus said matter-of-factly.

"…Who's Lily?"

Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Either James was playing a very funny joke, he was still asleep, or Remus had done something to his brain when he hexed him.

"Lily Evans… not ringing any bells?" Sirius said slowly. James merely responded by cocking his head to one side as he stared blankly at his friend.

"YOU DON'T REMEMBER LILY EVANS?! THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS?" Sirius shouted uncontrollably at him, spit flying everywhere, including onto Remus, who was standing on the opposite side of the bed to him.

"Sirius, please don't spit. It's unhygienic."

Ignoring Remus' smartarse comment, Sirius proceeded to shake Peter awake and yell at him, "JAMES DOESN'T REMEMBER LILY!" Peter opened his eyes _finally, _took his thumb out of his mouth and crawled over to the bed.

"You don't remember Lily? Are you sure?" Peter looked genuinely worried.

"Argh! Who the hell is Lily?! Somebody tell me before I explode! I don't like secrets being kept you know!"

"Ohgodohgodohgodohgod…This is my fault…" Peter slumped into a ball again, muttering to himself.

Remus stared at Peter as if he was mad.

"What do you mean this is your fault? I was the one who bloody hexed him! How is it your fault?" Peter winced. He knew he was going to be found out sooner or later… might as well come clean.

"Promise me you won't hit me after I tell you?" Peter asked timidly. Sirius responded with two enthusiastic thumbs up while Remus rolled his eyes and made a gesture for him to continue.

"Okay well… two nights ago… I was asked by Lily's friend Hannah to put love potion powder in James' drink at dinner… and that if I didn't do it, she'd tell McGonagall about us being animagi…" Remus slapped himself and Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Wait! Before you say anything… I'd like to say that I didn't know that it was a love potion at that point! I was really scared, but I thought that it was better that one person got jinxed or something than all four of us being expelled, so I did it… but…"

"You got the wrong cup." Remus finished his sentence.

"Yes," Peter replied feebly.

"Causing Sirius to be coming infatuated with Hannah Crossgrove and me to get bloody pissed by him and end up missing him because he's a fidgety mongrel and hit James, which ended with him forgetting Lily completely."

"…Yes," Peter replied feebly again.

"You're an idiot. McGonagall already knows about us being animagi, or in my case, a werewolf," Remus glared at him. "Merlin's beard Peter, Are you that much of an idiot?"

Sirius whacked Peter over the head.

"OW! What was that for? You promised you wouldn't hit me!"

"Yeah, well I lied. And I don't understand a word of what you and Remus just said, but it sounds like you did something constipated, so I hit you."

"Sirius, _you_ make no sense to _me_," Remus said, shaking his head.

"I know – hey! That's a bad thing!"

"Um… Hi… you still haven't told me who Lily Evans is…" The forgotten James Potter waved at them from his bed. Their feud momentarily forgotten, the trio returned to the amnesia-stricken boy.

"Well, Lily is—"

"Lily's like—"

"Lily has pretty hair." (This was Peter.)

It was then that the boys realised that they knew nothing about Lily Evans.

"James, we'll show you today at lunch, if Madam Pomfrey lets you out, okay?" Remus said finally, after many seconds of thinking.

"Hah! Yeah right, like that's gonna happen. You know how Pom Pom is, give her a patient and she'll keep him here until he gets better, which is not going to happen unless James remembers Lily, which won't happen unless Pom Pom lets him out, until he remember Lily, which won't happen unless—" Sirius thought aloud, getting himself tongue-tied and furrowing his brows in concentration as he tried to get his points straight.

"But then, what do we do?" Peter inquired worriedly.

"We'll sneak him out, duh," Sirius said. "What, like it's hard? Remember that time Remus blacked out in the middle of potions and—"

"That was because you made me sniff your cauldron."

"Shut up Moony. Anyway, we had to sneak you out because you wanted to go to Slug's Club that night! And, last time James fell off his broom during that Quidditch match against Hufflepuff—"

"You were trying to hex the opponent's Keeper, and you hit him instead."

"That's beside the point! We had to get him out so he could continue playing!"

"Yeah, but both those times we escaped just barely! Madam Pomfrey ended up dragging one of us behind until the others came back afterwards and explained what'd happened and why her patient disappeared."

"Oh! That was me! I remember now!" Peter had spent the last few minutes concentrating hard, trying to recall escaping the hospital wing when it was him that was left behind on both occasions.

"Okay then, we've got everything we need to help James out of the hospital wing!" Sirius said, looking around.

"How so?" Remus asked tiredly.

"Well, you and me, we're macho, we can carry him, I'm not sure if he can walk. And we've got Peter, he can be the sacrifice."

"Again? But I want to come with you guys! Can't James be the sacrifice for once?" Peter pleaded, completely forgetting the point of the escape.

"Shut your pie hole Peter."

And that was how, five minutes later, Remus and Sirius were heaving a half-asleep James Potter and sprinting out of the hospital wing while Madam Pomfrey shrieked at them as she held a miserable Peter in a choke hold, watching the three boys getting smaller as they made their way back to the common room.

-----------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Notes: **I quite liked writing this chapter… it went quite smoothly, to my surprise.

READ AND REVIEW EVERYONE even if you don't have an account, leave an anonymous comment! 8D


	6. Chapter Six: Broken

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter(TM), and in no way affiliated with JK Rowling. I'm not an actor in any of the movies, and I don't live in England. I don't know any actors, and all I gain from this is the pain of writers' block. Thank you, and have a nice day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Read and review. As always. Please. If you don't, the author will be sad  

-----------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Six: Broken

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Is that Lily?"

"No."

"Is that Lily?"

"No."

"Is that Lily?"

"No."

"Oh for the love of god, is THAT Lily?"

"Oh. It's you, Potter." _The_ Lily Evans shifted from her place in the great hall to where Peter, Remus, Sirius and the amnesia-stricken James were sitting. "What now?"

"So you're Lily…" James eyed her curiously, like a baby seeing a toy for the first time. Lily shrunk away at his gaze. It was _creepy._ James Potter had NEVER stared at her in that way before, and she didn't want him to start now. Lily felt something pierce through her heart as she stared into James' blank eyes. There was no recognition in those hazel orbs, no recollection of everything he had put her through or any of the euphoric emotions that usually surfaced upon seeing her. Lily shivered. Why was the absence of such things bothering her so much?

And how had she subconsciously remembered so many details about his eyes?

"…Hello James," she murmured, without second thought. As soon as the words escaped her lips, she mentally hit herself. If this was an act, Potter would never let her forget that she had used his first name as she addressed him. She prepared herself for the humiliation that would surely follow –

None came.

"Oh, so you do know me! Then… why don't I know you?" James inquired. Lily stared into the boy's emotionless eyes and remained silent.

"…I think we should go now, James." Remus glanced nervously at Lily before dragging his fellow Marauders out of the hall, leaving the girl still standing, lost, behind them.

------------------------------------------------------

Lily was sitting by the lake, clutching her knees. Scarf wrapped around her neck, the girl peered into the depthless waters before her and was about to get up and leave when a figure appeared beside her and sat down.

"…Hi Lily," the sandy-haired boy said gently.

"Oh! Hi Remus," Lily smiled. _A fake smile,_ she thought.

"Are you okay? You don't look too –"

"I'm fine! Really! I'm fine!" Lily cut him off, a little too quickly by Remus' reckoning. Lily started to get up, "I've got to go now so –" Remus stared straight into Lily's emerald eyes and willed her to stay.

"You can't go, Lily. I need to talk to you."

"Oh, if it's about the Prefects' meeting, I already know. The meeting is next Saturday, right? I'll be there, don't worry." Lily's brain was telling her to step away from the boy, but her feet were planted firmly on the ground.

"Sit down, Lily." Lily, as if hypnotised, sank to the grassy hill again.

"It's about James. Anyway, I sort of accidentally jinxed him and… he's forgotten you, Lily." Lily laughed.

"Is this some sort of joke? To get me to go out with James?" Remus tried to decipher the denial in her eyes and could practically feel the girl's heart beating faster than the rhythm of the gentle splashes of the lake created by the squid.

Finally, he wrapped his arms around the broken girl and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Lily didn't resist and began to spill every emotion to her confidant.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Prongs! Prongs! I gotcha tie!"

"Padfoot you stray mutt!" James ignored the irony behind his insult, "Gimme back my tie!"

"Oh, but you look good without it," Peter said, sitting on the floor of the dormitory and watching his friends struggle over James' tie. Sirius gave Peter a sceptical look that said '_you're queer._' Peter, being the smart cookie he is, understood the message and blushed crimson.

"Padfoot! I'm serious! Why won't you give me back my tie?"

"Because you look _so good without it," _Sirius purred, mocking Peter, which only made the shorter boy flush a deeper shade of red -- so dark that he now resembled an incredibly bright tomato.

"You – give – that – back – now!" James snarled, clawing in the air for the tie, and successfully retrieving it from his dark-haired friend as he simultaneously pushed him to the ground – onto Peter.

Sirius broke free of the kiss and spluttered, grabbing his tongue and spitting everywhere in sight. He scrambled around the floor (still clutching his tongue) and yelled "_Squorjify!", _resulting in pink bubbles to fill up his mouth. He choked as he realised he couldn't exactly breath properly (smart guy, that Sirius Black is), resulting in him running to the bathroom and swallowing the soapy substance, pink bubbles and all, in a desperate attempt to breathe.

Meanwhile, Peter was still on the floor, looking dazed.

"I've always wondered what a kiss would feel like," He said, touching his lips.

"Oh My God!" Sirius shrieked, and hiccuped. A single pink bubble escaped and floated into the air as he did so. "I – kissed – a – guy!"

"Well actually Sirius, Peter hardly qualifies as a guy, wouldn't you say?" James remarked, trying to keep himself from bursting into howls of laughter.

"You – shut up! This is your fault!" Sirius stormed over to his glasses-wearing friend and buried his face into what he thought was a soft cushion and instead banged his head against the hard surface of the bedside table (Sirius' 20/20 vision was completely swept out the window by a certain miscalled spell resulting in pink bubbles floating up to his brain).

"OW!" James yelled. Peter came rushing to his aid, immediately holding two fingers against his friend's jugular vein.

"He's alive!" He affirmed.

"At this point, I couldn't care less if he was dead!" Sirius huffed, still spitting everywhere. "Ugh! Rat germs!"

"Padfoot! I could've died!" James yelled, clutching his now badly bruised forehead. "Wait… Hey! I remember who Lily is now!"

Sirius temporarily forgot about his own problem and stared back at James.

"Really? You do? REALLY? This is wonderful! Splendid! We have to tell Moony! Where is he, by the way?"

"He said he was going down to the lake for a while," Peter said, breathing in and out as his mother had advised him to do whenever something drastic had happened to prevent a heart attack or stroke. James grinned, and practically skipped over the window, ready to open it and yell out to the lake below where Remus was and tell him the news about his complete recovery.

He froze in his tracks.

As he looked down below, trees swaying in the beautiful sunshine of today, he saw Remus Lupin, Lily Evans in his arms.


End file.
